funny sayings about uterus
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Admittedly, your period doesn’t exactly feel like a laughing matter when you’re in the middle of it. Your uterus being in the vice grip of the feminine mystique doesn’t exactly inspire giggle-fits — we get it. But you know how the saying goes, right? Ya gotta laugh to keep from crying. That’s where period jokes come in.
They’re a little cheeky and a lot of silly. OK, fine, so they can’t exactly comfort you like a heating pad and a pint of Rocky Road ice cream. Still, we’ve compiled enough period jokes to keep you preoccupied (and yes, even laughing) through at least a few hours of period misery. And if hormones have your chest aching too, have a light-hearted laugh over our jokes on boobs next.
She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint, she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. The clerk replies, “Yes, it is the correct price. For one week only, you can purchase five boxes of tampons for one dollar, no strings attached.”
Period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast? Period: How’s that back pain? Feeling better? Let’s fix that. Period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it. Period: Where’s your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen? Period: Got things to do? Don’t care. Sleep. Period: For dinner, you’re eating an entire bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny. Period: You didn’t like those brand new underwear right? Period: Yell at a puppy.
Pretty much every female on this planet has to deal with that time of the month. You know, our monthly monster, shark week, the crimson tide, moon time, mother nature's gift, good 'old Aunt Flo — yes we're talking about your period.
So why is talking about our periods or menstrual cycles something society has made women feel like we should be embarrassed about? Why is it that when girls have to go to the bathroom on their period, we feel the need to hide our tampons?
So in celebration of (or at least in recognition of) getting your period month after month (after month after month), we've collected 40 of the best period quotes, jokes, and funny sayings about menstruation to make going through this time of the month a little less frustrating.
No worries if you're wealthy. You'll be fine. If not, then you shouldn't have gotten impregnated in the first place. NO we don't want to help you out with birth control, and NO we don't trust your medical decisions. NO, we don't want you to be on public assistance, and NO we don't want to provide you with prenatal care, or healthcare for your baby, or food stamps, or welfare or pre-K care. NO, we don't want to fully fund public schools either. So good luck with the kid. Next time, don't be so po
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