funny sayings about kansas
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If you roll your eyes at “Wizard of Oz” references, run outside when there’s a tornado and are used to experiencing all four seasons in a week, you are obviously a Kansan who can appreciate these 12 memes:
“I cannot understand why you should wish to leave this beautiful country and go back to the dry, gray place you call Kansas.""That is because you have no brains," answered the girl. "No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home." The Scarecrow sighed."Of course I cannot understand it," he said. "If your heads were stuffed with straw, like mine, you would probably all live in beautiful places, and then Kansas would have no people at all. It is fortunate for Kansas that you have brains.”
―
L. Frank Baum,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
“Kansas afternoons in late summer are peculiar and wondrous things. Often they are pregnant, if not over-ripe, with a pensive and latent energy that is utterly incapable of ever finding an adequate release for itself. This results in a palpable, almost frenetic tension that hangs in the air just below the clouds. By dusk, spread thin across the quilt-work farmlands by disparate prairie winds, this formless energy creates an abscess in the fabric of space and time that most individuals rarely take notice of. But in the soulish chambers of particularly sensitive observers, it elicits a familiar recognition—a vague remembrance—of something both dark and beautiful. Some understand it simply as an undefined tranquility tinged with despair over the loss of something now forgotten. For others, it signifies something far more sinister, and is therefore something to be feared.”
―
P.S. Baber,
Cassie Draws the Universe
“You can never really escape. It goes with you, wherever you go. Somehow, the prairie dust gets in your blood, and it flows through your veins until it becomes a part of you. The vast stretches of empty fields, the flat horizons of treeless plains. The simplicity of the people—good, earnest people. The way they talk and the way they live. The lack of occurrence, lack of attention, lack of everything. All that—it’s etched into your soul and it colors the way you see everything and it becomes a part of you. Eventually, Ms. Harper, when you leave, everything you experience outside of Kansas will be measured against all you know here. And none of it will make any sense.”
―
P.S. Baber,
Cassie Draws the Universe
“I was unhappy for a long time, and very lonesome, living with my grandmother. Then it was that books began to happen to me, and I began to believe in nothing but books and the wonderful world in books — where if people suffered, they suffered in beautiful language, not in monosyllables, as we did in Kansas.”
―
Langston Hughes
“The stars sparkled in an inky sky as they drove through the hot summer night—rhinestones scattered across midnight silk. Out here, a person could almost see forever across the flat expanse of farmland. Wide-open spaces revealed little towns miles away, their lights glinting like rubies and pearls. Kansas held a subtle beauty that only a quiet eye could see.”
―
Kimber Silver,
Broken Rhodes
The United States is a vast and diverse nation with a huge assortment of languages and dialects. It's perhaps no surprise, then, that in a country with at least 350 languages, you find a great deal of variation in the slang terms—some of which are downright strange.
These bizarre phrases come in all types, some of the most common of which are place descriptions—highways, intersections, concert halls, mountain ranges, etc. In Colorado, for example, they use the term "Mouse Trap" to describe the junction of Interstate 70 and 25 in Denver. Everyone knows what this is even though it might baffle outsiders. Similarly, in Kansas, the word "kaw" is synonymous with the Kansas River. In Atlanta, they use "OTP" or "ITP" to describe one's proximity to Interstate 285 ("OTP" is "outside the perimeter" while "ITP" means "inside the perimeter.") Out-of-towners have no idea what the natives are talking about.
Another common source of regional slang team is local sports—nicknames for teams, stadiums, fans, rivals, and everything in between. Tennesseans refer to the "Preds" in "Smashville" (it's code for their hockey team and the city of Nashville), and Oklahomans use the phrase "thunder up" (a reference to their basketball team). Food is another major source of local jargon. "Hot brown" in Kentucky, for instance, is a regular lunch staple, even though most non-locals don't know what it is (an open-faced sandwich). Muffuletta is something they eat in Louisiana and any local will recognize the nickname (a popular Italian lunch item). Montanans know that "Hoot Wine" is an alcoholic beverage brewed by the Hutterites.
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