funny sayings about history

June 01, 2023 Post a Comment

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Funny History Memes You Won Find In Any Textbook History Jokes

Whether you’re looking for funny quotes to make a point, enliven a presentation, give a toast, or just for your own amusement, you’ve come to the right place.Reader’s Digesthas been collecting funny quotes since our first issue in 1922, and in honor of the magazine’s 100th anniversary, we’ve pulled together some all-time classics. Looking for even more quotes? Check out our lists of uplifting quotes, family quotes, and life is short quotes. You might also enjoy our new compendium of the best jokes ever. Have fun—and you can quote us!

13. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”—Erma Bombeck

16. “It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, ‘Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.’ Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.” —Erma Bombeck

Unbelievable History Facts You Really Need To See Weird History

29. “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” —Rita Mae Brown

30. “The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.”—Mark Twain

Baca Juga

Elderly Man: “Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic.”Priest: “I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war.”Elderly Man: “I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed.”Priest: “That’s not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive.”Elderly Man: “Should I tell him the war is over?”

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Two Russians are queueing up for bread in Red Square.‘**ck this’, says one, ‘I’m going to go and shoot Yeltsin’ and he storms off towards the Kremlin.Fifteen minutes later he returns and silently re-joins the queue.‘Well?’ asks his friend. ‘Did you shoot Yeltsin?’‘No chance. The queue was twice as long as this one’.

On that note, here’s another Soviet one I’ve always liked.A man from the Soviet Union obtains a permit to move to the USA, and his new neighbor asks how he much he likes his new apartment, so he asks him what his apartment was like back in Russia.“Oh, my old apartment was perfect. I could not complain.”So his neighbor then asks him what his job was like back home.“Oh, my old job was perfect. I could not complain.”So the neighbor asks him what the food was like back in the USSR.“Oh, the food was perfect. I could not complain.”Puzzled, the neighbor finally asks him, if everything was so great in the Soviet Union, why did he move?The man says, “Here I can complain.”

An American man and a Soviet man are arguing over who has more freedom.The American says, “I can walk up to The White House and yell ‘Reagan is a disgrace’, and nobody can do anything about it.”The Soviet man says, “I can do the same thing! I can walk up to the Kremlin and yell “Reagan is a disgrace’, and nobody can do anything about it.”

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