funny sayings about birthday
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Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think ofsomething funny to write inside. We’ve all been there, you’ve picked out a great card but when you sit down to write your message, you can’t think of anything besides “Happy birthday.” Well, don’t worry! Our team of greeting card experts have scoured the internet, searched our own cards and trawled thousands of ideas tobring you a list of the 69 funniest things you can say inside your card. From the rude and offensive to the cheeky and light-hearted messages, simply choose your favourite and pass it off as your own. You’re welcome!
The go-to for any birthday, we’ve crafted these funny birthday wishes to be great for almost any birthday celebration. Perfect for that friend you only see once a year or that colleague who you don’t have any inside jokes with, just go with one of these classics to get them laughing.
1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!
Is your old man turning one year older? Or maybe your friend that’s a little bit older than you needs reminding that they’ll always be the old mate in the group. Here’s a selection of our best old age birthday jokes and messages, perfect for your friends or family who need a gentle but humours reminder that their best years are behind them!
1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.
Since the dawn of time, humans have celebrated their birthdays. However, everyone celebrates birthdays differently. Some people throw a big birthday party with balloons, cake, and lots of birthday presents. On the other hand, some people prefer a more low-key event with loved ones. Perhaps they don’t even celebrate at all. Regardless, birthday wishes are part of everyone’s special day. Of course, there’s more than one way to wish a loved one or best friend a happy birthday. The best way is with funny birthday quotes.
These funny birthday quotes are the perfect way to wish someone a happy birthday. They’re funny but also filled with wisdom. Indeed, some of the funniest and brightest minds have dropped birthday knowledge that’ll make that special day amazing. These wise and funny birthday messages will help make the upcoming years so much easier. If they don’t, at least it’ll be good for a laugh. These truly are the funniest birthday quotes.
Lucille Ball is a comedy legend best known for starring in the iconic sitcom I Love Lucy. Ball’s quote is a funny way to wish someone a happy birthday. It’s also good advice. Everyone’s always trying to look young with plastic surgery and botox. However, Ball’s advice is to eat well and be happy. Honestly, lying about your age is the easiest way to stay young.
Iconic comedian Will Ferrell isn’t just one of the funniest actors of all time. He’s also one of the wisest. Indeed, his birthday quote is funny, accurate, and an excellent way to send birthday wishes. Reading about historical events that feel like they just happened is the first sign of aging.
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