funny quotes about dog poop

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Must've stepped indog poopwhen I walked in the grass. And I knew EXACTLY where it happened, too. SQUISH I took my shoe off and went to the front of the room to tell Mrs. Pope about my situation. But I think Mrs. Pope thought I was trying to skip out on the pop quiz, because she gave me —Jeff Kinney

What do you do for fun?" he asked.And suddenly we weren't at a table with a large group of people anymore. It was just Brad and me. We'd moved from a wink to a nudge to a discussion, but his interest was going to disappear if I didn't think of something exciting to share."I like to read mysteries.""Read."He repeated the word like I'd just told him that I enjoyed stepping indog poop. —Rachel Hawthorne

Picture the person who intimidates you most. Now picture them crouched like a dog, pooping on the sidewalk, looking up at you, all vulnerable. We all poop. Maybe not on the sidewalk, but nobody is better than you and don't let them think they are for a minute. —Caprice Crane

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Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog. —Alan K. Simpson

Woke up this morning to the incredible news that I was nominated for an Emmy, and a shower full ofdog poop. Apparently my dog is so excited, she has explosive diarrhea. I truly could not be more thankful to the Emmy voters for including me in this brilliant company of extraordinary women. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up an enormous amount ofdog poopout of my shower. Yay! —Martha Plimpton

The cardinal points are a direct reference to the astrological colures. The Cardinals surround the Pope as the cardinal points surround the sun. The sun casts its rays on the Houses as it passes, turning them crimson. The color worn by the physical Cardinals is red, to symbolize that they are illuminated by their proximity to the Pope, the representative of God on earth. The word Pope, may also be a derivative of the word in Egyptian for the evil serpent Apep, Apophis or Apopsa (See Poop Deck and Pupa, and Pepsi, Pepsid, Dr. Pepper, Sgt. Pepper, etc,).

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I can honestly say that I love what I do, but I think we can all agree that my choice of career is far from conventional – so much so that many don’t even know such an industry exists. It can be a little awkward at social gatherings when everyone is discussing their professions – “I’m a teacher, nurse, accountant…” and then I come in and say “I scoop dog poop for a living”. No matter how cordial the conversation, the person I am talking to can’t help but react with a confused and perhaps slightly disgusted face. But once that 3 seconds of shock wears off, that confused look quickly turns into a smile… and that makes me smile back.

As serious as I take my job, the overall idea of it is well… funny. I make jokes about it everyday. So I decided to write down some of the common puns I use and I encourage fellow poop scoopers to use them in order to break the ice, be less shy about what you do, and let others know that you can share in the humor too.

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